Operation Red Moon
by TheArchives
Summary: Drabble Omake. Various moments in the life of Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi. KisaIta, Shonenai, and an obscene amount of crack.
1. Dance Club

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Someone was going to pay.

When Kisame had first heard the parameters for their new mission, he had laughed. It had to be a joke right? I mean him and Itachi… in a dance club? Really?

Unfortunately, said joke had turned out to be anything but, and now the two found themselves inside of the small dance club they had been sent to in order to find their target, both feeling extremely uncomfortable. Kisame was able to hide his annoyance with a jagged grin. Itachi was not doing so well. The shorter man was currently glaring icily at anyone within a hundred feet radius of them.

Of course, one hundred feet probably encompassed more than the entire area of the club anyway…

Their leader really did have a sick sense of humor. A dance club Kisame could handle… if he had too, but no, it just got worse. Not only did they have to infiltrate the club in order to find their target, they had to blend in.

Kisame… and blending in…

Right…

If Diedara made one more snide comment about his face he was going to split her in two. Who was she to talk anyway, with that damned _mouth _in her hand? Kisame distracted himself for a few minutes with the pleasant image of roast Diedara shish kabobs.

Unfortunately the distraction didn't last long as he had to stop Itachi once again from maiming and or killing one of the other club-goers. Not that you could tell, but Kisame knew his partner a little too well.

"Later."

A very slight tick appeared under Itachi's eye.

"The next person who touches my ass is going to die, mission or not." It never failed to amuse Kisame how Itachi could say such things without even twitching a face muscle.

Yes, Itachi really and truly disliked crowds. Kisame did as well, but for different reasons. He had never had a person try to pinch his butt in passing. If this wasn't an undercover mission, he could bet that Itachi probably would have torched the room by now.

Ah, what a pleasant sight that would be.

There was a slight brush on Kisame's arm, and the taller man followed his partner's intent gaze across the room.

Target… finally. And about time too. The next person that touched Itachi, in any way, shape or form, was going to die… and Kisame wouldn't be stopping it.

No, he would be helping.

Yes, someone was going to pay dearly for this mockery.

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People shouldn't keep giving me ideas... this is the result.


	2. Earrings

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Kisame was confused. When he had returned from staking out the town they were in, he had expected to find Itachi in their room.

He had not expected to find the man wearing a single silver hoop though one of his ears.

They had gotten into a short fight earlier that day with a foolish pair of rain nins. Apparently the duo had had no sense of self preservation. And was it a requirement for rain nins to use those damned umbrellas or something? How predictable.

Still, as incompetent as they were, one of them had had very good aim.

Itachi had left the bloody aftermath of that battle with a single scratch… Right. Across. His. Ear.

Apparently that wound had given him ideas…

Kisame had a tendency to be very frightened when Itachi got ideas.

Still, the earring didn't look bad. It was small, tasteful and unlikely to get caught on anything they dealt with. Kisame could even admit that it looked a bit alluring. It definitely fit with Itachi's uncanny beauty.

"Bored?" the shark-man asked his partner, bravely flicking the sliver ring with a sharp nail. Itachi shot him a look which clearly told him to stop being an idiot.

Kisame grinned. He took great pride in the fact that he was the only one who could touch Itachi like that and get away unscathed… most of the time.

"I like it," he murmured. Itachi's answer was a barely perceptible hint of amusement in his eyes. The dark haired man reached a pale hand up, flicking the earring himself, and Kisame couldn't help but grin at the hinted tease.

Maybe Itachi should get ideas more often.

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	3. Power Outage

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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It was a dark and stormy night.

No… really…

It was.

Really stormy.

Kisame was dead certain that if the wind picked up anymore it would knock the roof off of the small cabin he and Itachi had managed to find. A single table, a frayed cot and a small electric lamp with a flickering bulb seemed to be all that was left of the former inhabitant's belongings. Cobwebs hung from the walls and dust covered the scraped floor. A soft dripping sound echoed from one of the corners.

It was quite obvious that no one had used this cabin in ages. Not that it was a problem… better then being caught outside in this weather. As much as Kisame loved the rain, near strait-line winds were not his thing.

Another crash and a flash of lightning.

The light bulb flickered again, dully, then went out all together.

Great… black out.

Kisame sighed. From the flashing light of the storm he could make out Itachi's still figure, still seated as if nothing had happened on the damaged cot.

That dripping noise was getting louder.

There was a hint of movement from Itachi's side of the room. The man was lazily making a few seals with his hands.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu." The man's voice was soft, calm, as bored as his hands had been. He breathed flame into his palm and held it out, standing up to search the bare cabinets of the cabin.

Kisame had forgotten that Itachi hated rain. For some unknown reason, storms made the man uncomfortable. Perhaps it was a part of his paranoia; sensing alien chakra was difficult during a storm, but perhaps there was some other reason as well. Kisame had never asked.

The light from the flame dimmed slightly, as Itachi used the fire to light the small candle stub he had found. Kisame found himself moving towards it, running a finger through the small light.

Itachi gave him a warning glare, then extinguished the flames in his hand, clenching his fist around them. There were scorch marks when he opened his hand once more. Kisame sighed deeply.

"Burning your hand isn't going to help us any, Itachi-san."

Another glare.

"It's only soot."

Only soot. Much like what hid Itachi's mind from the rest of the world. It was only soot…

It was so much more.

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Don't ask me how this one turned out semi-serious... -.-;


	4. Radishes

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and **shonen-ai**... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Itachi and Kisame had their similarities. They were both fairly quiet men, preferred to be alone most of the time, and yet for some odd reason did (on some level) enjoy each other's company. Neither of them cared much for their place of birth, nor their family, (Though Itachi's issue with his brother could hint differently) and they did enjoy similar foods (too a point).

They also had their differences. For one, Itachi took quiet to a level where Kisame sometimes wondered if the man was mute. They had very different fighting styles, though compatible. Kisame loved water: the ocean, lakes, rivers, rain, whatever. Itachi hated it. Itachi also had a strange attraction to fire. Kisame did not.

One of those things they differed on was radishes.

Yes. Radishes.

Kisame loved them. He didn't know why, but he found them extremely tasty.

Itachi hated them.

Perhaps he had just never developed a taste for them, but Kisame was secretly suspicious that this had something to do with the man's well hidden sweet tooth. Yes, Itachi did like sweets… not that he would _ever_ admit it. Radishes, however, were not his thing.

In fact Kisame was pretty sure he had seen the man's eye twitch slightly the last time they had found some. Kisame himself of course had just shrugged it off and promptly eaten the vegetables himself. No point in wasting good food.

Still, watching Itachi twitch was fun.

Crunch.

Itachi glared at him.

Kisame smiled cheekily back and took another bite of the radish in his hand.

Ah yes… so much fun.

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Hey now, we do know Itachi likes dango:p


	5. Playing Cards

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Damn that pretty bastard. He won _again_.

Kisame and Itachi were in the middle of a mission, stuck between two villages in the middle of nowhere with absolutely nothing to do. They were days away from their target, or any village for that matter, and thus were forced to find some way to amuse themselves through the night.

Hence, the presence of Kisame's well worn deck of playing cards.

It had started as a random game of poker. Kisame had been bored and Itachi had somehow been coerced. The games had gone on from their, growing more and more complicated as the two added their own rules. By now, only a super genius would have a chance at figuring out the game they played: a mind-boggling mix of chance and strategy that kept them, at the very least, entertained for short periods of time.

Much to Kisame's chagrin, Itachi was getting far too good at their current game.

Perhaps it was time to raise the stakes a bit.

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Bet Shikamaru's the only one who could figure out thier game... I have no idea what they're playing... :p


	6. Watching

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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"Achoo!"

Kotetsu shook his head to clear it of the sudden sneeze as his partner looked on in amusement.

"If you keep that up you might manage to blow your eyes through your nose," Izumo commented. Kotetsu shot a glare back at him.

"I feel like we're being watched," he answered indignantly.

"And your nose is a radar for spies…" Izumo rolled his eyes and returned to flipping through the old file on his desk. By direction of Shizune (sadistic woman that she was) the two had been set to going through old ANBU files, sorting through those that were now obsolete and those that were still of some use. This particular file gave Izumo the willies every time he had to go through it.

Another sneeze.

"Are you sure you're not sick? Kotetsu nodded in reply.

Another roll of the eyes.

"Let's just get this done with…"

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Above these two diligent workers, on the roof of the Hokage's office, a pair of extremely confused Akatsuki members sat watching.

"Hey…" Kisame pointed downwards, his face drawn in what could only be bewilderment. "Weren't we supposed to be in this drabble?"

Itachi only shrugged.

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Happy April Fools Day :P


	7. Ripped Clothing

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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This was not something they had expected. Their mission into Lightning should have been simple, just recovering a few well hidden scrolls for the organization. It was not supposed to turn out like this.

They had gotten the scrolls of course, left a few dead and the complex burning, but it had been a long time since either of them had been injured on a mission.

For _Itachi_ to be the one injured spelled trouble.

It was a shallow wound, nothing anywhere near life threatening. Itachi's cloak had been ripped nearly in half during the fight and a shallow line of red ran down his arm from that damned sword.

Ikazuchiken(1). The Thunder Blade of Hidden Cloud, one of the village's secret treasures and the brother to the Nidaime Hokage's blade, Rajin.

Neither of them had expected to find a skilled shinobi wielding _that_ in their way. So much for the Cloud's treasure; it was theirs now.

Some one must have tipped Kumogakure off.

"They are no longer following us." Kisame was slightly startled by his partner's words. The wound must be a worse than he thought, if Itachi wanted to stop. Kisame nodded and the two dropped into a small cavern in the hills they were moving through.

Itachi immediately brought out a roll of bandages and set about cleaning and wrapping his wounded arm. There wasn't enough left of his cloak to salvage; he was going to have to find another when they returned to base. Yet another petty annoyance on account of a troublesome mission.

"Do you want some help with that, Itachi-san?" There was a barely perceptible hint of surprise in Itachi's eyes before his expression (what Kisame could see of it, anyway) narrowed into a glare. Uchiha Itachi was perfectly capable of looking after his own wounds thank you very much.

Kisame sighed and moved over to the dark haired man's side anyway.

A second glare.

Kisame sighed once more.

"It'll be faster if you just let me help," he told his partner pointedly. The Uchiha continued to glare at him, but let Kisame bind his arm anyway.

As much as Itachi hated to admit it, would _never_ admit it aloud, sometimes Kisame was right.

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(1)To my knowledge, Ikazuchiken doesn't actually exist in the Naruto world. It's a blade I made up for this drabble. Ikazuchi does mean thunder and one of the kanji for 'ken' means blade or sword. Hence the translation as Thunder Blade.

And now back to your regularly scheduled programing. ;p


	8. Coffee Icecream

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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If Kisame had any sense of self-preservation (or sanity preservation, to be more accurate… not that he had much left anyway) he would have stayed far, far away from that "innocent" little ice-cream stand on the side of the road.

Unfortunately, Kisame had no idea what he was getting into.

Itachi and Kisame were in the middle of traveling towards base when the two decided, nearly simultaneously, to take a short break at a road-side tea shop along the way. It wasn't a place they visited with any frequency, just once in a while when neither of them were too keen on returning to the Akatsuki base immediately. Avoiding Deidara was only _one_ of the reasons the two liked to stay away.

The last time they had stopped here, there had been only the tea shop. Now, right next door, someone had set up a little ice-cream stand to help combat the summer heat.

Itachi's face had betrayed the equivalent of complete and total confusion upon seeing this new development. Not that Kisame was surprised. Outdoor ice-cream stands were fairly common in Water country, but less so in the neighboring countries. And few foreign stands had such a selection of flavors.

It had been Kisame's idea to stop and grab a treat. He knew that Itachi wouldn't mind. It would stall them for a bit at the least… and for a good cause. Sometimes Kisame wondered how Itachi had gotten so good at hiding his sweet tooth. Then he realized it probably had something to do with the man's younger brother.

As an only child, Kisame had never really felt the need to horde candy.

It had been going fairly well, until Itachi noticed a certain flavor listed on the colorfully painted board.

He shot Kisame a sharp look. Kisame, not so sure about his partner's reaction, mulled over the list until he had come to one particular offer.

Coffee ice-cream.

He stared at his smug looking partner in horror, but there was nothing he could do. It was far too late to stop the inevitable now.

Uchiha Itachi had just discovered his new favorite sweet.

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Yay for crack!


	9. Arcade

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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If any mission could be more humiliating then the one which had sent them to a gay dance club, it had to be this.

Here they were, two members of the most feared organization in the world, sitting in the back corner of a brightly lit, loud, child-covered arcade.

Yes, an arcade.

Their mission was to kill the owner of an arcade.

Unfortunately for both of them, said owner had stepped out before they had arrived and now, two hours later, was still conspicuously missing.

Both of them were exceedingly bored… and far beyond annoyed.

Finally, Kisame gave in. The look that crossed Itachi's face when his partner moved towards one of the arcade games was borderline priceless.

Kisame mentally listed it as the closest Itachi had ever come to downright staring in shock.

"I have nothing better to do," the shark man replied, before holding up one of the little plastic guns and shooting the hell out of what ever came onto the game screen.

If Itachi were a more expressive person, he would probably have been hiding his face in his hands by then.

An hour later, Itachi also gave in. The two amused themselves, and vented their frustrations, on the vicious little creatures that wandered across the game.

Yes, squirrels were vicious. Nothing could convince Kisame otherwise.

Finally, after four hours of this mindless torture, the poor, soon-to-be extremely dead arcade owner returned to his post.

All the man saw were a pair of dangerously spinning scarlet eyes before the world went dark.

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Some of the missions these two get are so horrendously goofy... and so much fun!


	10. Hot Spring

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Kisame loved hot springs. He loved the water, the warmth, the little curls of steam running up his back and the softly worn rocks under his thighs. So when, having just finished their latest mission, he and Itachi had stopped by a town well known for its springs, he had taken full advantage of the opportunity to indulge.

Itachi hadn't complained; he had no urge himself to move along to their base. It wasn't as if they didn't have time. So the two found themselves, that night, seated in a private spring near the back of the complex relaxing in the warm water.

Kisame was thrilled.

Itachi, however, was bored.

At first he amused himself by watching his partner relax through the steam, carefully mapping the taller man with his eyes. Kisame had never been what people would call attractive, but he was intriguing none the less.

Animalistic, hard and dangerous. Thrilling. Though it had been awhile before Itachi had admitted it, he had always been attracted to the strange, shark-like man.

He edged closer. Musing and staring were doing little to quell his boredom.

Time for a new approach.

Kisame was more than a little surprised to feel the smaller man settling behind him, tracing intricate lines across his back. Even when in private, Itachi did not always enjoy close contact.

"Bored?" the shark man asked, amusement in his voice and eyes. Itachi gave a noncommittal glance in return, and Kisame found himself relaxing into his partner's light touch. Itachi rarely took the opportunity to initiate anything, all the more reason to indulge further.

The touches soon changed to soft kisses and nips along his shoulders, and Kisame sighed in contentment.

A sharper nip was Itachi's answer to that sigh.

Kisame glanced back at the shorter man.

"You are bored aren't you."

A soft smirk in response. Kisame rolled his eyes heavenward.

"It was a boring mission," Itachi told him, voice soft, low and breath brushing across Kisame's ear. The shark-man fought back a shiver of excitement. Having a man that could easily tear you apart at your back and knowing that he wouldn't was always a little exhilarating.

"And that means?" Kisame knew exactly what Itachi meant, and he wasn't complaining in the slightest.

A slim arm wrapped around Kisame's waist, followed shortly by a strong pair of thighs pressing against his.

"Entertain me," Itachi murmured. Kisame could feel a warm wetness caress his sharp ear.

He was all too willing to oblige.

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Well, now you understand the shonen-ai warning. ;p


	11. Nail Polish

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Kisame really hated Diedara.

That damned wench was annoying enough when she didn't have anything to bitch about, but no… today she had made it her personal mission to make Kisame's life hell.

Like she did every time he and Itachi came home from a mission and she was unoccupied.

He couldn't help it if she was jealous of him for being Itachi's partner. Though next time she made a comment about Itachi's "artistic physical perfection" he was not going to hold Itachi back from killing her.

It might actually turn out to be amusing. Very amusing. If only they didn't work for the same organization…

Kisame sighed, giving Itachi an annoyed glance before returning to painting his nails.

Damned bitch had to go and mention the near absence of his nail-polish to their leader. Kisame really hated dress code. And why was _nail polish_ a part of their dress code anyway?

Yet again, Kisame had to attribute it to their leader's incredibly sick sense of humor. The crazed missing-nin probably did it only to torture them.

Itachi never seemed to mind the dress code. But then, he was Itachi. By all outward appearances, he minded nothing.

Kisame smirked to himself. That was one thing he defiantly had on Diedara. _No one_ in the Akatsuki could read Itachi like he could. The only person who probably came even remotely close was Itachi's emotional younger brother.

Yes, compared to Itachi, on the surface at least, the boy was very emotional.

No one could get under Itachi's skin like Kisame could and come out without a scratch.

And that was just one more thing he had on that bitch.

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Perhaps I should add a warning for Diedara bashing... ah, meh. -.-


	12. Necklace

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Itachi fingered the thin, simple chain around his neck, absently playing with the three larger rings that linked it together.

It was a cloudy day, dreary, and completely unproductive, and he and Kisame were stuck inside the dark Akatsuki base without even a hint of a new mission.

Kisame looked ready to ram his sword through the wall, just for some entertainment. Itachi was about ready to kill someone if they didn't get out of here soon.

Kisame glanced up at his enigmatic partner, noticing the subtle fidgeting. Itachi only did that when he was frustrated.

Frustrated Itachi with nothing to do could go one of two ways. One could be bad for everyone… the other would only be bad for those who forgot to knock.

Itachi had noticed him watching and met Kisame's eyes with his own pitch black ones.

Black. Apparently it wasn't a homicidal sort of frustration. Kisame smirked.

Good.

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Bored Akatsuki members are fun to play with. ;p


	13. Special: A beach, tangled hair, chopstic...

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Itachi was now quite aware of why he disliked swimming in the ocean. The water was cool, yes, and calming, and enticing, but the aftermath of the salt waves did nothing but frustrate him.

His hair was an absolute mess, and the drying salt water was _not_ helping. So Itachi sat on the warm beach, watching his enthusiastic partner enjoying his absolute favorite pastime and carefully working his fingers through the tight knots in his salt encrusted hair.

Why did he leave it long again?

Itachi glanced out at his partner. Oh yeah…

Finally giving in, Itachi settled for pinning his hair up with a convenient pair of wooden chopsticks that he had washed after their lunch. At least the mess was out of his way.

Kisame was finally returning from the water.

The shark man settled beside him, a slight grin on his face when he saw his partner's current state.

He pulled on the chopsticks.

"You really shouldn't put your hair up like this," he murmured. Itachi leveled an annoyed glare at his partner. Kisame shrugged.

"Someone might mistake you for a woman."

The glare narrowed. Kisame only laughed in response, knowing by now that he was in no danger. It was fun to poke at Itachi like this, if only to see the man's reactions. Kisame fingered a few strands of hair that had fallen out of the chopsticks when he had tugged on them. He could feel the salt, sandy and coarse over the smooth hair.

He was also quite aware of the slight softening of Itachi's eyes.

Kisame's hand moved to the back of his partner's neck. There was another small glare, before Itachi's eyes returned to that peaceful state. They stayed that way for a few moments, before Itachi began to silently fidget once more.

There was a small grove of peach trees behind them, and Itachi's eyes flicked towards them. He was starting to get sick of being in the open.

Kisame nodded, and the two stood, brushing sand off themselves as they moved towards the trees. At least there the sun would not be so harsh. Itachi was already starting to look slightly pink.

The two settled down once more, Itachi's back to one of the trees and Kisame at his side. Kisame's hand wandered back up to his partner's neck, still curious.

The shark man didn't even have time to blink before something hit his face. He looked down to find a slightly overripe peach in his lap. And was Itachi actually _blushing_?

That glare told him quite seriously that if he said a thing he was going to die a very painful death.

And drowning was not an option. Maybe Itachi had been in the sun a little too long. Kisame certainly couldn't see the Uchiha blushing under any circumstance.

And still that curious hand found its way back to Itachi's neck. This time Itachi didn't retaliate, only sat there, letting Kisame stroke the back of his neck and the loosening hair. In a way, the Uchiha actually seemed to be enjoying the contact.

Either that or Kisame was going to be one very dead shark in the morning.

A pair of black eyes met his. Was that a _smirk_? Seriously, Kisame was almost certain he had seen more facial expressions on Itachi in the last few minutes then he had seen since they had been paired together.

"You shouldn't tease me."

Was Kisame hearing things right? The still lingering almost-smirk on Itachi's face said he was. The Uchiha moved closer.

This had to be some kind of genjutsu… right?

A pair of lips ghosted near his.

Apparently not…

This was turning out to be an extremely odd day, was the last coherent thought to go through Kisame's head.

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Nice day at the beach, eh? Part of my challenge was a 'first time' idea... I'm still shocked I managed to get all four of the main pieces of the challenge in here.


	14. Tea

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Tea. The staple beverage of most households, restaurants and travelers. Cheap, tasty, warm and caffeinated… and definitely something Itachi and Kisame saw a lot of. Nearly every town and wayside rest stop had at least one tea shop, and (in the case of towns) probably more.

Still, both of them had to agree that some of the best tea they had come across came from the southern part of Fire Country's forests. Perhaps that was why they traveled through Fire so often, not because of Itachi's perfect knowledge of the terrain or because the two enjoyed the possibility of meeting with some resistance on their way. The danger was a simple thrill to them.

Perhaps the tea wasn't one of the only reasons they kept coming, wasting their time as a few of their colleagues sometimes put it. One had even gone so far as to suggest that Itachi might miss his old home.

He had stayed far away from Itachi following that comment.

Still, could such a simple reason as good tea really explain the amount of time the two spent near Konoha?

Kisame knew nothing would ever explain it. It was possible that even Itachi didn't understand. The shark-man also sometimes felt the pull of his home country, the land of the seas and mist.

There was something about home that always drew you back, no matter how hard you resisted.

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I have no idea if Fire country is known for tea. Again, it's just something I made up for the sake of the drabble.


	15. Calligraphy Brush

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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If there was one thing Itachi did rarely, it was reminisce. Few things could set him to thinking of the past, the most obvious culprit being, of course, his younger brother.

Still, once in a while, Itachi did get this strange, distant look in his eyes, and Kisame knew that he was remembering something.

One of these times, they had been walking through the streets of a small, quaint village, when Itachi had stopped near one of the outdoor booths, that strange look in his eyes. His hand had brushed once over a small bamboo brush, one of those used for ink calligraphy.

He had said nothing afterwards, made no hint that he had even looked at the object, but still it left Kisame wondering. Itachi had always seemed attracted to ink paintings, he knew them, knew which were worthless and which held true beauty.

The one time Diedara had attempted to contradict him had been hilarious. Itachi had merely looked at her. Just looked.

And then Sasori had decided to agree with Itachi's choice of art piece.

Diedara had thrown a fit, claiming none of them understood artistic genius.

Her favorite from that particularly set had been… strange.

Kisame had seen the hint of amusement in Itachi's eyes during that incident. Even he enjoyed getting that damned woman back on occasion, but then his expression had changed, returned to that strange, almost unnerving look –the same as all those before.

And then Kisame had noticed the name of the artist written in a delicate hand down the side of the painting: Aoru Mikoto.

And he understood. Even Itachi sometimes remembered his heritage. His mother had not only been a talented artist, she had been an intelligent woman, obviously fond of word play.

Kisame was also sure that Itachi had never meant for anyone to notice the link to his past in the simple strokes of ink on blank rice paper.

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Apparently Mikoto is Mrs. Uchiha's name, Aoru is another word for "fan". Her pen name is a play on the name Uchiha in this case, hence the comment Kisame makes about her being clever. It was just a strange little fancy of mine for her to be a painter.


	16. Weapon Shop

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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The last time Itachi had managed to shatter his favorite weapon, the man had been in a rage for days.

The time before that, he had torched a village.

This time, an entire unit of jounin from Amegakure had been slaughtered.

Kisame was currently blessing what ever deity looked after crazed criminals such as himself that Itachi had calmed down from that one relatively quickly. It was quite fortunate that Itachi's favorite sword smith happened to have set up shop near Rain a few years ago.

Strangely enough, the old man appeared to be one of the few people Itachi genuinely didn't mind. Kisame himself didn't know what to make of the sword smith. Walking into the shop alone was like walking into a foreign world.

Blades of all shapes, sizes and designs lined the walls and the old man himself rarely talked.

In fact, he spoke 'dead-pan' almost as well as Itachi himself.

Perhaps that was why Itachi liked him, aside from the fact that the man was a genius.

So much so that Kisame had trusted him with repairing the Samehada the one time the sword had been too damaged for Kisame himself to fix.

"The next time you shatter this blade, I'm going to shatter your bones…" the man grumbled, taking inventory of the fragments that Itachi had recovered.

Itachi was very close to smirking in return.

Sometimes Kisame was very glad that they didn't visit this place often. He would hate to see Itachi in cahoots with a man like that…

They got a long much too well…

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I like that man... don't know who he is, but I like him. :p


	17. Ferry

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Ferries were one of those things that just amused Kisame beyond all reasonable sense of maturity. Boats too, and ships. Perhaps it was just the concept of being so close to his home element or the steady rock of the boat beneath him, but for some reason it sparked something in him like the fascination of a little kid.

It also caused some of the most confused deadpans Kisame had _ever_ seen cross Itachi's face.

So here they were, crossing a relatively large river on a small, flat bottomed ferry, an old man polling them across to the other side and Kisame sitting quite contently by the edge of the boat. His hand was trailing through the water, making small swirls and ripples as it passed.

He was quite valiantly resisting the urge to shuck off his sandals and let his feet dangle in as well.

The stare Itachi was leveling at him said he wasn't doing quite as well at hiding his childish desire as he thought he was.

And so, Kisame did just what he had been fighting. He ditched the shoes.

The look Itachi sent him as he dangled his feet in the cool river said exactly how immature the Uchiha thought he was being.

Kisame only grinned his fierce shark grin back at the pretty man.

Itachi was inwardly grumbling.

The ferry man was blissfully ignorant.

And Kisame was perfectly content to act just as childish as he damn well pleased.

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Ki-san likes water, yes yes. :p


	18. Key

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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A simple silver key.

Itachi had been fiddling with it for the past hour. It was two hours before dawn; the two were comfortably seated in a tree outside of one of the minor Earth Country lord's estates… waiting.

Waiting for the shift in the night and morning guards.

It was just another one of the usual missions: grab this scroll from this lord or ninja and bring it back for study. The scroll itself would be under anything from slight to heavy guard depending on the paranoia of the caretaker and the contents of the scroll. They would have little time to get in and out, but more than enough.

Itachi would enter first, securing them a safe, inconspicuous path towards the target with his speed and eyes. Kisame would follow, keeping an eye out for enemies at their back and making sure to render them out of commission as quickly as possible.

No sense in allowing them to sound an alarm.

Kisame was well suited for this job, as his own massive amount of chakra and his blade allowed him to sense even small amounts of enemy chakra nearby better than his partner.

Twenty minutes 'til the switch.

The key Itachi was toying with had been snatched off of an ill meaning vassal who had hoped to steal the scroll for himself and sell the contents to the highest bidder for his own profit. Unfortunately the man had made no secret of his access to the object. Itachi and Kisame had merely relieved him of that access in order to save themselves the trouble of taking time to pick the lock.

Ten minutes.

Kisame's mouth turned up in a sharp grin. Itachi was eyeing him with the sort of expression that, in Itachi-speak, was the perfect equivalent of bored impatience. Itachi had made no secret of the fact that he thought this mission to be pointless. What their leader wanted with a record of the current politics of minor Earth country lords was beyond him. The petty fools could squabble themselves to death for all he cared.

Their leader was a strange, strange man.

Two minutes.

Kisame stood, balancing himself expertly on the thick branch. Nearby Itachi stood as well.

Time to get this menial mission over with.

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They get a lot of seemingly pointless missions don't they.


	19. Marinated Steak

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Itachi warily poked at the thing in front of him with a dull fork, giving his partner a clear message of annoyed confusion.

In other words, Itachi-speak for 'what the hell is this'.

Much to the Uchiha's dismay the look did nothing but make Kisame chuckle.

They had found themselves a small, out of the way and yet surprisingly nice restaurant on their way out of Earth country and for some strange reason, Kisame had decided to be adventurous. Earth country food tended to be a little more foreign than anything near their base after all.

Now Itachi was finding himself in an obnoxiously pointless fix. Not only was there an ungodly large piece of meat in front of him, he had no idea how to eat it.

And, as if only to add to Itachi's frustration, Kisame did.

The dark haired man glanced at the strange utensils in his hand, then at the juicy steak in front of him.

He looked back up at Kisame.

Sharingan!

The meal proceeded much more easily from there, much to Kisame's dismay.

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Gotta love the cultural issues with utensils.


	20. Performance

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaItaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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It was rare that the members of the Akatsuki were called together for business, and it was even rarer when said business took place outside of their darkened lair.

This had been a special case. The first of their ultimate targets had been found, Gobi of the Jinchuuriki(1), and their illustrious leader had wanted all of them present to witness the beginnings of their greatest plan.

The boy had been a dancer, beautiful, young, newly accepted into a kabuki(2) troupe and about to begin his first performance.

Their mission had been successful of course (how could it not be with all nine members in one place), and now Kisame was glad to be free of the theater.

It had been a 'social' occasion, and they had been required to dress appropriately.

Kisame was resigned to the fact that their leader would never learn how difficult it was for him to be inconspicuous. He looked like a shark for hell's sake!

Itachi now, he had blended in beautifully. The perfect mix of aristocratic aloofness and dangerous beauty had made him both visible and invisible in such a crowd, and Kisame was sure that half the audience had mistaken Itachi for a woman.

Fortunately, Itachi had either ignored that fact, or hadn't noticed.

Now they were alone again in the inn, settling down for the night. Kisame watched appreciatively as Itachi loosened his deep scarlet kimono and let it drift to the floor, the black vines patterning the fabric twining in even more complex designs around the folds.

Itachi was watching him through half lidded eyes over a pale shoulder, watching with a similarly appreciative look.

The man's hair fell from its loose bind, draping across his shoulders and half hiding what Kisame could see of his face. He turned and moved forward, all impossibly feline grace as he approached his shark-like partner.

Kisame didn't waist any time in pulling Itachi into his lap as soon as the man was close enough.

"Tonight's performance was… interesting," Itachi murmured, settling himself more comfortably, his warm breath brushing across the shark-man's ear. Kisame grinned as his callused hands slid up the smaller man's bare back.

"Ah," he answered. The performance had been interesting, in its own way and had grown more entertaining as their leader's plot had progressed.

The room was becoming pleasantly warm around them, a lazy kind of warm that drew a person in and goaded them in to loosing all sense of tension.

"How about an encore?" Kisame asked mischievously.

Itachi allowed a slight smirk to cross his lips in reply. A second performance was sure to be even more entertaining than the first.

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(1) Gobi of the Jinchuuriki: Jinchuuriki refers to the more recent chapters of the manga and the beings that the Akatsuki have been after. Basically they are humans in which a demon has been sealed (aka: Naruto and Gaara). Gobi means 'five tailed', like the Kyuubi, only five instead of nine. Each of the Jinchuuriki is referred to as a certain number of tails. For example: Shukaku is refered to as Ichibi, or 'one tailed'.

(2)Kabuki: A traditional form of Japanese theater that originated in the Edo period. It often depicts historical events, tragic love stories and the like and was a form of popular culture at the time.


	21. Humming

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Kisame was humming.

Humming.

Loudly.

Not only was he humming, the tune was that of an infernally old, obnoxiously catchy lullaby.

Itachi's eye twitched.

A lullaby. A child's song.

Why in hell's name was Kisame humming a tune fit for three year olds?

Itachi was about ready to kill someone. It didn't help that the particular lullaby Kisame was humming drew up embarrassing memories for him… memories he would rather not have.

Like the time his mother had somehow coerced him into babysitting his brother for the weekend.

Sasuke he could have handled easily, but the other six children that had been dropped in his proverbial lap had driven the then antisocial nine-year-old nearly insane.

And if only to make things more humiliating, Itachi's mother had come home at the end of that trial and sung the little devils to sleep. Just like that!

The memory was one among many that Itachi would rather forget completely.

Now he and Kisame were sitting in their bedroom on each side of the rickety double bed and Kisame was humming that. damned. song.

The Uchiha shot his partner a deadly glare, before lobbing a pillow at Kisame's head.

Kisame was more than a little shocked.

But at least the humming had stopped.

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Poor Itachi ;p


	22. Bedroom

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Watching Itachi sleep was a novelty unto itself. Like most shinobi, he was a peaceful sleeper, barely moving in his unconscious state.

He was also a remarkably light sleeper for someone who often needed more than a few cups of coffee to wake up in the morning.

Ah, contradictions.

What shinobi needed eight cups of coffee to wake up in the morning anyway?

And how the hell could the very same ninja leap to his feet from a completely unconscious state in less than an eye blink when threatened?

Kisame didn't understand how Itachi did it.

No one did.

But watching Itachi drifting somewhere between full sleep and a light doze beside him was even more of a wonder than the Uchiha's waking habits. He looked… peaceful. And if one knew Itachi, one knew that peaceful was not a state in his repertoire.

Kisame was the only one that was allowed to see Itachi in such a state. That alone was an unusual sign of trust, for Itachi to allow _anyone_ to see him remotely vulnerable.

Kisame brushed the ends of Itachi's ponytail (yes, he often wore his hair tied even when asleep) smirking to himself. The fact that Itachi did little more than twitch at the touch said more of what the Uchiha thought of him than any word or piercing look ever could.

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Note: Drabble 22 will not be posted on as I have no intention of upping the rating on this fic. The drabble can be found on my lj at www . livejournal . com / users / hikarineko / 12208 . html # cutid 2 As usual, take out the spaces. :)


	23. Pomegranate

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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It didn't take much effort to figure out what Itachi's favorite color was. All a person had to do was watch the man during a fight as his eyes spun wildly at the sight of splashing blood.

Red.

Red like his eyes. Red like the clouds dotting their cloaks. Red like blood.

Itachi loved the color red.

So it wasn't much of a surprise when, one mild day, Kisame had decided to introduce Itachi to one of the rarer fruits of Water country, that the man had taken a liking to them immediately.

The scarlet juice covering the small seeds dyed their hands much like blood, though blood was quite a bit easier to wash off. Pomegranate juice took days to get rid of and the seeds were not exactly easy pick out of the thick skin.

It was worth it though, for the small crimson treat.

Not only were the fruits sweet but the dark seeds were covered by incredibly alluring crimson flesh.

At first Itachi had been merely attracted to the novelty, then to the color. Now, he would even border on admitting that the fruits were among his favorite foods.

It figured that Itachi's favorite fruit would be the same color as blood.

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Mmmm... pomegranate...


	24. TV

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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"Raise your damned turnips somewhere else. The aliens are just fine without them."

Itachi shifted his head, looking up at his temporary pillow warily.

"This is a terrible movie," he commented, before shifting his head into a more comfortable position on Kisame's lap.

Hell he was tired…

Kisame merely rolled his eyes in response, torn between the urge to nod knowingly at his partner and the need to make a sarcastic comment in return.

Why were they watching this again?

Kisame glanced out the shadowed window. Ah yes, that was why.

The sky was hung with heavy dark clouds, waves of rain pouring down relentlessly.

Even Kisame was wary of weather like this.

It had been raining like this for almost a week now, washing out the bridges surrounding the small village they had holed up in and nearly disrupting their current mission. They had gone through with the mission of course, after carefully reevaluating their plans to account for the insane weather. It was not normal for Lighting country to be having monsoons at this time of year.

Hell it wasn't normal for Lightning to be having monsoons at all.

Kind of like snow in May…

Of course after the mission they had found themselves virtually stuck in their small inn waiting for the flooding rivers to slow enough for them to cross in relative safety. Neither of them had any burning desire to get caught in a sudden flash flood.

At some point Kisame had decided to amuse himself by watching bad old movies on the black and white television in their room.

It gave him something to do, and helped to distract him from his partner's relentless paranoia.

Only within the last few hours had Itachi relaxed enough to join him. The constant rain had made the younger man even more tense than usual.

Perhaps that explained why Itachi was currently using his lap as a pillow. The action hadn't exactly made sense to Kisame at first. But then, Kisame was very aware that Itachi had not been sleeping well (or at all) the past few nights.

Kisame shifted his legs, earning himself an angry glare from his partner.

'Move again and I'll break your legs.'

Itachi's remarkable ability to communicate through only the tiniest of shifts in his facial features always amazed (and amused) Kisame. Understanding Itachi's deadpans was an art that Kisame was extremely proud of.

Itachi shifted again, adjusting himself to Kisame's new position.

Kisame shook his head.

People were not supposed to be able to look so beautifully innocent and act so threatening all at once.

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Yes May... it was snowing in May…


	25. Cliff

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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There are certain moments an S-class criminal would prefer to forget. Dumb moments, mistakes that shouldn't have been made and things that no self respecting renegade would ever admit to. This one just happened to be one of Kisame's:

The first thing Kisame saw when he opened his eyes was a pair of scarlet eyes watching him intently.

There was anger there, bloodlust, and that tense feeling that Kisame usually associated with the more pronounced versions of Itachi's paranoia. He grinned wryly.

"Who died?"

Those eyes merely glared down at him. Kisame sighed and began to sit up.

"Your wrist and leg are both fractured." Kisame stopped short. So like Itachi to deliver such a line so casually.

Maybe getting into a fight with seven high level jounin from Sand had been a bad idea.

Or maybe it had been that cliff they had been fighting next to. Kisame distinctly remembered the feel of a ledge crumbling under his feet… Stupid earth, so unreliable. Stupid slippery rocks. Stupid rain making the cliff unstable. Rain on the desert border always did tend to disrupt things. Kisame would be mentally beating himself over the head for weeks at his mistake.

Kisame inspected his wrist, taking more care to not injure his bad leg as he sat up. Both bones were set properly, and neither break was serious. He fortunately didn't appear to have a concussion from the fall either.

Good old water, always being there when you needed a landing. The lake beneath the fifty foot cliff had broken his fall well enough.

"We should move on."

It did figure that Itachi would take no notice of Kisame's injuries once the shark-man was awake. Even if said injuries weren't too hampering.

"What happened to our friends?" Kisame asked, standing and taking care to put most of his weight on his good leg. Another look from Itachi was all he needed to know that the men were very very dead.

Itachi started moving toward the hills. Kisame sighed heavily. Caring the Samehada in this condition was going to suck. Itachi was certainly not going to carry the malicious blade for him.

Speaking of his trusty sword…

It was right next to him.

Funny.

Kisame looked up.

It was only then that he noticed Itachi's slightly damp hair, and the bandages wrapping the palms of his hands.

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Note: Only an S-class missing nin would consider a broken leg to be not too hampering… -.-;


	26. A forest, onigiri and something is lost

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Kisame was about two seconds and three inches away from bashing his head against a tree. When explaining their newest mission, their leader could have had the courtesy to tell them that their target had been kidnapped!

Now they were stuck in this godforsaken maze of a forest following a month old trail left by a group of surprisingly skilled bandits.

Perhaps there was a rouge shinobi among the group.

Why exactly they were chasing after a low ranked Daimyo from Wave of all places… Did Wave even have Daimyo?

Sometimes Kisame really wished he could just stick his Samehada down their leader's throat.

His precious sword was far too good to be stuck up that bastard's ass.

A soft nudge at his side distracted the shark-man from his homicidal rage. Kisame was a little surprised to find an onigiri being waved in front of his face.

Was Itachi trying to distract him. Scarlet eyes stared up at him, a slight touch of annoyance visible.

"Eat," the smaller man said shortly. Kisame eyed his partner carefully as he took the offering.

Distraction by food eh?

Kisame let it go. They still had a long ways to go before they reached their target.

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Mmm... food.


	27. Rope

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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If there was one thing Itachi really and truly hated, it was playing decoy.

Unfortunately, when up against 30 or so high class jounin _and_ a squad of hunter nins, one had to make concessions.

Usually said concessions did not involve him having to play captive to said group of enemies.

That had been Sasori's idea, and unfortunately, given the circumstances, it had been practical. Neither Kisame nor Sasori himself would have been able to pull off playing the amateur. Itachi, though by immediate appearance less intimidating, wasn't much better at it. His own aura was far too intense for him to feign someone on a genin or chunin level. And if anyone had recognized his eyes…

That was one of the points that was seriously irritating Itachi. Using the Sharingan would have been a dead give-away. Thus, his bloodline was hidden away, making him feeling far more vulnerable than he liked.

Itachi had suggested that Deidara might have made a better decoy. Unfortunately Deidara, being their resident bomb expert, was needed elsewhere (much to his glee and Itachi's annoyance). Damn Sasori anyway. Why couldn't they just use one of his stupid puppets for the job? It wasn't like Sasori couldn't just fix them later...

Itachi was currently about five seconds away from torching the rope that bound his wrists. Why exactly did their leader feel it necessary to send them after the hidden treasure of one of Iwagakure's most prestigious clan?

If not for that fact, Itachi would never have been forced into this situation. Nor would their leader have insisted on sending Deidara and Sasori with them. There was only so much of that pair that he could take.

An explosion.

Itachi's eyes flashed red; that was his signal.

Pieces of scorched rope hit the floor. The foolish clansmen guarding him saw only a pair of spinning crimson eyes before black flame consumed them.

This was yet another mission that would be added to the list of things that never happened. A list that was starting to get disturbingly long.

Itachi blamed their leader.

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Yes, this was not much more than an excuse to tie Itachi up...


	28. Hot Chocolate

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Damn it was cold.

Kisame twitched, forcing back the urge to shiver. Despite coming from a relatively snowy country himself, he had never been too fond of the stuff. Water was a fairly mild country, despite the regular winter snowfall. The temperature rarely descended below 0° Celsius there. _This_ infernal (or anti-infernal in this case) country was _freezing_.

Apparently Itachi was of a similar opinion, as he had returned with two mugs of some strange, steaming drink. Kisame took the mug from his partner with a questioning glance, sniffing the cup warily.

It smelled… like chocolate.

Itachi's eyes betrayed what would have been an amused smirk had he allowed it to show.

"I'm surprised you didn't bring back coffee, Itachi-san," Kisame noted, sipping the warm drink. His nose had been right. It _was_ chocolate, just not in any context he had seen before.

Itachi shrugged, taking a sip of his own drink.

Still, Kisame appreciated the gesture. This drink did warm one far better than coffee would. Damned cold.

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Cat doesn't like coffee... :p


	29. Someone's Photo is Taken

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Zetsu was a patient man. Spending most of one's time spying through foliage will do that to you. He was not, however, beyond using his unique talents to further his own ends.

So when Kisame came to him one overcast day and asked to borrow a camera, he had taken it upon himself to follow the blue-haired man in order to find out what exactly he wanted with such a thing.

He did not expect to find what he had.

After winding his way through the maze-like caverns of the Akatsuki base, Kisame had finally entered an old, stone-hewn room containing two packs, a smallish double bed, and Uchiha Itachi… sleeping.

Shockingly (and fortunately) enough, the bright flash did not wake the sleeping man. Kisame grinned to himself, a smile that Zetsu was sure did not spell good things for the shark-man's partner, and silently left the room, slipping the roll of film from the camera as he did so.

Outside Kisame turned, his shark-like grin directed quite obviously his hidden voyeur.

"Here, I'm done." Kisame tossed the camera, which Zetsu reached out from the wall to grab, surprised.

Zetsu was personally very glad that he and Kisame were on good terms. Otherwise he may have been one very dead plant-man.

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Sneaky Zetsu! Love! Zetsu is quite possibly my favorite Akatsuki member... second only to Kisame that is. :p


	30. Lakeshore

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Itachi hated crowds. Really hated them. Hated them with a passion that burned so deep it would turn anyone who touched it to ash (had it been a tangible substance). There were far too many people in crowds, to many variables, to many chances for something to go wrong.

Crowds were bad. But being stuck at midday on a crowded lakeshore was far, far worse. At least in the anonymous crowds of the cities or towns one could blend in and disappear without a trace. In this setting, blending in was a far more difficult task. To blend in, one had to be wearing a serious lack of clothing… and in Itachi's case, this warranted far too much attention.

Itachi could feel the stares being leveled at his bare back as if he were some sort of gourmet meal, and he was quite sure that the fools were completely oblivious to how close the were to a fiery death.

Extremely oblivious.

Footsteps could be heard pressing into the dirt. They were coming towards him… and they were _not_ Kisame's. No, the shark-man was (unsurprisingly) in the water- nowhere near close enough to warn these ignorant fools away.

Unfortunately.

"A pretty thing like you shouldn't be sitting here all alone."

Itachi didn't even favor the idiot with a glance. Inwardly he bristled in anger. These fools never seemed to learn.

"Hey." Itachi's unwelcome guest crouched down beside him, obviously trying to get a better look at his face. Off towards the lakeshore, Itachi could see Kisame making his way towards him.

Scarlet eyes lifted.

Itachi shot his partner a clear look stating that if this moron was not removed from his presence immediately, then Itachi was going to blow their cover in the most spectacular way he knew how.

Apparently Kisame got the message, because his pace quickened as he strode over to where his fuming partner sat.

"Been waiting long?" Kisame asked, not so subtly nudging Itachi's admirer out of the way. The other man scowled and glared, as if he had some claim on Itachi's attention. Itachi glanced at his blue-skinned partner, allowing Kisame to help him to his feet if only for the sake of rubbing his disinterest in the other man's face.

"Miss me?" Kisame was amused… and completely aware of what Itachi was up to. A small responding smirk appeared on Itachi's face before he pulled the taller man down for a rough kiss.

If the moron hadn't been aware of Itachi's indifference before, he was now.

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Poor Itachi-san... :p


	31. Hats

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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It was rare that the members of the Akatsuki were called together, and it was rarer still for said summon to be without their leader's prompting. But sometimes, some things just had to be done.

On a scale of mass chaos, this particular issue was fairly low, though to more than a few members of their organization, it still warranted dealing with. It was about damn time they got rid of those pesky hats.

So, here they were, gathered together in their underground base, circled loosely around their obviously amused leader.

"Well, what do you propose instead?" Their leader had been fairly casual about the entire thing, listening with a sort of superior amusement to their complaints. And there was some reason to complain. Concealing their head wear may be, but it severely impaired one's peripheral vision, something Itachi in particular had a problem with.

"Something a little less… sight impairing?" Kisame suggested.

"Something that will actually keep the rain from going down our cloaks?" Was Diedara's idea. "The ones we have don't cover that far… un." The leader raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Then what do you suggest? A sombrero?" Most of the Akatsuki promptly stopped short and twitched.

"Well… yes." Itachi was forced to fight down the urge to stab his partner in the side with a kunai. Why must Kisame insist on playing along with their leader's disturbing sense of humor?

"I am against that idea… un." Diedara's visible eye was narrowed angrily. And from the looks of things, he wasn't the only one against the suggestion. Kisame merely shrugged and grinned widely back at them.

Playing along with their leader was a technique that the rest of his comrades had yet to learn. It had certainly saved Kisame from many of the unsettling jokes their leader had leveled at him.

Their leader shrugged, giving Kisame a knowing smirk.

"Well, if you have no suggestions of your own, then your hats will remain as is."

A wave of intensely flaring chakra washed over their leader like a mild breeze. His smirk only widened.

"Until next time," he said, and promptly vanished from their base.

Itachi's eye betrayed a slight twitch. He really hated their leader.

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Yes, you will start to see the other Akatsuki members around a bit now.


	32. Cave

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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"Itachi-san, is this absolutely necessary?"

Uchiha Itachi shot his partner a sharp, familiar look.

Paranoid bastard.

Sometimes Kisame didn't know why he bothered arguing. They had just returned from a mission, wet, cold and tired, and all Kisame was interested in was a warm shower and a place to sleep. It didn't even have to be a bed; just a comfortable piece of floor would do at this point as long as he could rest.

Unfortunately Itachi had one more requirement to add to this list.

They had just passed their former residence, a comfortable cave supplied with a decent sized, mildly comfortable bed and easy access to a large bath.

Apparently this place was no longer acceptable.

Itachi's maddening (in Kisame's opinion) sense of paranoia would not allow the Uchiha to remain in once place for too long, nor to use the same room in succession. Even within their base. The entire complex had been built into a maze for hell's sake. Kisame was certain that he didn't know of half of the hidden caverns within.

Kisame sighed heavily, hefting his pack more comfortably over his shoulder and following after Itachi. It had been a perfectly good cave too… Kisame resigned himself to a long walk.

Itachi stopped.

Shaking his head, Kisame followed the Uchiha into a small cavern that he had never noticed before. Watching Itachi survey the small cave, Kisame could see an unexpressed weariness in the man's movement.

Itachi set his pack near the wall and looked up at his partner.

Kisame had no words to describe his relief to find that his partner was just as tired as he was.

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Paranoid bastard... XD


	33. Shoes

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Itachi hated fighting over water. Really hated it. Much like rain, it caused too many variables for his comfort. It leached an unnecessary amount of chakra just for this simple purpose of keeping one afloat, the reflections in the water made simple genjutsu nearly useless (again, wasting unnecessary chakra) and it (to an extent) impaired lesser fire jutsu.

In all, it was just a pointless waste of energy for one who could not or preferred not to use water jutsu.

So when he and Kisame had been forced to take out a pair of unusually talented ANBU over a large lake, it was a simple enough assumption that Itachi had not been pleased.

To add to the annoyance, one of the ANBU had been particularly good with genjutsu himself… and well enough informed to avoid Itachi's eyes.

They had come to blows, Itachi and this particular man, while Kisame dealt with the second ANBU, kicks, punches and daredevil twists. Itachi had nearly landed a kick to the ANBU's face, only to be pushed away at the last minute by an incoming kunai.

The strike had been close to his heel, but not close enough to pierce the skin. Itachi drew back, casually tossing kunai in rapid succession towards his opponent. There was no hint of uncertainty visible in his features, not sign of hesitance. Itachi fought with the casual grace of a man merely dancing.

Then the fabric holding his shoe together split.

Apparently that one kunai had done a little more damage than Itachi had thought.

The Uchiha tumbled across the water, the lake soaking his cloak thoroughly before he could regain his balance. His unspoken curses were colorful enough to have made a sailor blush.

His ANBU opponent hadn't lasted long after that…

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This mission shall now be added to the list of things that never happened. :p


	34. Olive Oil

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Kisame swirled the goldish liquid in the little bottle in his hands, a small amount of confusion evident in his face.

"Itachi-san… why exactly do we have this?"

Itachi's answer was a quiet, curious look, and then a shrug.

Apparently Itachi was not sure himself why or how a small vial of olive oil had found its way into his pack.

"Cooking, perhaps?" Kisame was a little surprised by his partner's quiet comment.

"Cooking?" he asked skeptically. Itachi shrugged once more.

"It is not useful for much else."

Kisame wasn't sure, but he was almost certain that he had just seen a flicker of disappointment flash across Itachi's face. He grinned.

"What exactly were you hoping it was then?"

Another look, this one… amused.

Itachi moved closer, running a hand across the rough skin of Kisame's cheek. His lips moved carefully along Kisame's ear.

"You never know."

Kisame understood perfectly.

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Will someone please explain to me the criteria for determining the virginity of olive oil? XD


	35. Reading

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Now this was a rare occurrence.

A day off.

No missions, no meetings, no reason to leave the secluded room they had secured for their current stay within their well protected base.

No reason to do anything but relax.

Itachi had settled himself in a comfortable corner with an old, slightly fraying book in hand. The pages were yellowed and a few threads of the binding were trailing off of the edges. The title was written in flaking silver leaf, partially rubbed out from to much handling.

_A History of Fire-based Genjutsu._

Kisame shook his head. Sometimes his partner was remarkably predictable.

Bored, and probably feeling somewhat more bold than usual, Kisame stepped up to his partner and pulled down the top of the book.

Itachi eyed him curiously.

"Studying for something?"

"It is interesting," came the near silent reply. Kisame shook his head once more and grinned.

"This is our first day off in a while," the shark man noted.

"And?"

Kisame's grin widened as he brushed a lock of hair from his partner's face.

"There are many more ways to make use of our time, Itachi-san."

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Itachi is a dork. At least when concerning fire jutsu.


	36. Watermelon

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Dink.

Kisame eyed his partner warily.

Dink.

Twitch.

Dink.

"Itachi-san… what are you doing?"

Itachi glanced at Kisame, an… innocent… expression on his face.

Another watermelon seed hit the wood behind that damned dragonfly that had decided to buzz around them.

Dink.

Another miss.

Itachi's eye twitched.

Thunk.

Itachi's eyes swept towards his partner, a small amount of surprise evident. Kisame grinned back.

Bink.

Itachi successfully fought back a grin of his own as Kisame's grin shifted into a look of surprise…

Kisame rubbed his nose.

This meant war.

Ten minutes later, Kisame stopped dead and hung his head in his hand.

"Itachi-san… we have just spent the past fifteen minutes trying to kill each other with watermelon seeds. How old are we?"

Itachi merely shrugged.

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I have no good excuse for this one...


	37. Scars

**Operation Red Moon**

By: Sneaky Cat

Disclaimer: Seriously now... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun messing with the characters if I owned them... Ok, so I lied... but still... Don't own.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: KisaitaKisa (a.k.a. Kisame/Itachi)

Warnings: Some OOCness, sillyness, Akatsuki members, and shonen-ai... and yet more suggestive jokes.

Notes: These drabbles are the result of a series of challenges sent to me by a very tweaked out Clever Audrey. I am so proud of myself.

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Curiosity was a concept that was both familiar and foreign to Itachi, if such a mixture could exist. He understood the feeling, the pull of curiosity, but rarely indulged himself in the exciting venture of satisfying it.

Rarely indulged... with the exception of certain conditions.

Hoshigaki Kisame was one of those conditions.

This particular curiosity concerning Itachis partner had begun soon after their second mission together. They had been holed up for the night in a comfortable inn, in an easily defendable room –nothing unusual. Itachi had merely noted that it was strange that his partner did not remove his armguards before bed.

Indulgence as it would have been, Itachi had not thought farther on the subject, had merely ignored the strange quirk.

It hadnt been until years later, after they had begun their more intimate relations, that Itachi had seen any possible evidence of why Kisame might choose to wear his armguards regularly.

Kisames inner left forearm bore a strange tattoo, too unique to be easily forgotten, depicting a stylized shark in whirling black lines that was nearly the size of Itachi's palm. Again, a curious quirk, but not one that Itachi thought much of.

Until now.

Running a hand over the rough, bare skin of his partners forearm, Itachi noticed something that he had never noticed before.

A scar.

Curiosity compelled him, and for once he indulged in its pull, running a hand over the large marring again and again. It was old, deep, and obviously something that Kisame preferred to hide, judging by the intricate design that covered it.

A resigned sigh was Kisames answer to the obvious question in Itachis eyes.

"It was a long time ago, Itachi-san."

_It is something I do not want to remember._

Itachi answered both the spoken and unspoken words with a kiss, unusually soft for the normally intense man.

They were missing-nin.

Both of them had moments of their pasts that they would rather forget. Pain, trials, mistakes and necessary evils. Things they had done and things that had been done to them, all for the sake of achieving the height of their powers.

Scars with a past were nothing to waste a thought about.

But for some reason, this one bothered Itachi.

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Dear god I actually wrote fluff with these two...


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